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The Hallacha Marriage Conversion Same sex Marriage Ketubah Kidushin Special Days Divorce Mamzerim (bastards) Women Cohen and Divorcee Tradition Mikveh Ritual Bath Limitations

JEWISH RELIGIOUS PRACTICES AS SEEN BY SECULAR JEWS:

For the past several hundred years, people all over the world have been expanding their horizons. Like their non-Jewish peers Jews, as well, have broadened their educations and absorbed ideas from different cultures. As the Jewish people learn new ways of thinking, their basic values and their views on religious symbols and religious ceremonies have altered.

SECULAR JEWS AND RELIGIOUS PRACTICE (THE HALLACHA)

The Hallacha is a body of laws, rules and norms that has regulated Jewish life for hundreds of years. As circumstances changed, so did Jewish practices. This has helped the Jewish people to survive as a nation.

Today most Jews, both in Israel and abroad, do not strictly observe the commandments. Instead, they see them as the basis for contemporary Jewish ethics and culture. Indeed, as Israeli writer Amos Oz so aptly put it, “Secular Jews view orthodox religious practice as a source of inspiration rather than a source of authority".

Secular Jewish practice places Man in the center, giving him freedom of choice and expecting him to accept others according to their deeds – without regard to their origins or religious affiliation. Secular Jewish practice is evident throughout Israeli law, in Israeli schools, and in Israeli culture.

The secular Jewish way of life, which adapts itself to circumstance, is critical and inquiring, while being tolerant and forgiving as well. Secular Jewish practice sees change as a good and positive thing and it accepts all men and women as equal no matter what their culture or country.

Secular Jews in Israel find it both an obligation and a privilege to be fully involved in determining contemporary Jewish practice. They are proud to be an influence in the moral design of our generation's Jewish culture.

SECULAR JEWS AND MARRIAGE

Secular Jews see marriage as an important and stabilizing factor in Jewish culture. It is important for the healthy emotional development of a couple’s children, and helps when deciding how to share of fiscal and other responsibilities in the home.

Most secular couples in Israel declare their everlasting love through a marriage ceremony. Israelis devote a great deal of time, energy, thought and money to wedding celebrations. Such momentous occasions are important elements in the common Israeli experience. Secular Judaism is delighted with every Jewish marriage. We consider couples to be officially wed irregardless of the kind of Jewish ceremony that joined them together: secular, Reform, Conservative or Orthodox.

SECULAR JEWS, CONVERSION, AND ACCEPTING NEW PEOPLE INTO JEWISH SOCIETY

In Israel, only the Orthodox Rabbinate can accept newcomers into Jewish society. Each year, however, thousands join the Jewish People de facto without going through the Israeli Rabbinate.

While secular Jewish culture considers it important to establish criteria for admission into Jewish society, it rejects the notion that people who wish to live a secular Jewish life should be obliged to participate in Orthodox conversion. Orthodox values are different, and often diametrically opposed, to secular Judaism.

Some time in the future, secular Jewish institutions in Israel will be authorized to prepare candidates for Judaism. Until then, secular Judaism admits everyone who, to all intents and purposes, is already a member of secular Jewish society. Thus secular Judaism recognizes any immigrant living a Jewish life in Israel, who raises his family here and who is considered Jewish by the people around him. This, even though the Orthodox Jewish Establishment may not grant him the same recognition.

People from other countries who have linked destinies with the Jewish People and wish to live their lives here will also be accepted into the Secular Jewish community. If they wish, such couples may marry in a secular-Jewish ceremony.

SAME-SEX MARRIAGES

Until recently, Judaism considered any way of life but the traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationship to be abnormal and illegitimate. Homosexuality, viewed as deviant, was not considered under any circumstances to be the basis for a life partnership.

For the past few decades, however, secular Judaism has unreservedly accepted homosexuals and lesbians. Secular Judaism sees no contradiction between a person's homosexuality and his or her religion, and regards homosexuals as having the right to a Jewish way of life. This includes the right to participate as equals in the Jewish community and the right to pursue a Jewish education for their children. Obviously, then, homosexual and lesbian couples have the right to a Jewish wedding.

KETUBAH THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE CONTRACT

The traditional Ketubah marriage contract outlines a man’s obligations to his wife at the time of their nuptials. According to the Ketubah, the man buys his wife from her parents, and she becomes his exclusive property. Because she belongs to him, the man is obliged to care for his wife and to provide her with food, clothing, housing and sexual satisfaction as long as they are living together. He is also required to pay alimony and child support in the eventuality of divorce. The Ketubah document was most advanced for its time, as it provided generous protection for women in unstable cultures and before they were granted legal status.

Today, the situation has changed: marital economic considerations are for the most part regulated in Israeli law and as a result the Ketubah’s provisions are largely superfluous. However, many couples still want a Ketubah – but prefer a document that expresses their deep commitment to one another. Secular Jews prefer a Ketubah that focuses on the couple’s mutual obligations, one that emphasizes their mutual trust, that relates to the life partnership they are about to enter, that focuses on their sincerity and their love for one another.

KIDDUSHIN (MARRIAGE VOWS)

Secular Jews see the exchange of marriage vows as a mutual commitment. While Orthodox ceremonies include the words "You are betrothed to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel", the phrase is not obligatory. In fact, in secular nuptials the couples can take mutual vows – instead of leaving the betrothal wholly up to the man.

SPECIAL DAYS (EVE OF SABBATH, SABBATH, COUNTING OF THE OMER)

Secular Jews regard the Sabbath eve and the Sabbath Day as important times of rest. It is on the Sabbath that secular Jews are free to break away from the weekday routine and enjoy their families with outings, meals, and a spiritual give and take.

Secular Jews take advantage of the Sabbath aura, and also celebrate communal and family events. Thus there is nothing to keep Secular Jewish couples from marrying on the Sabbath.

To secular Jews, the period of Counting of the Omer is symbolic only, and not an actual period of mourning in which, for example, a male would not shave. Thus although according to Orthodox practice couples may wed only on Lag b’Omer - the thirty-third day of the Omer – there is nothing to keep secular Jews from marrying at any time.

DIVORCE AND BILLS OF DIVORCE

In any well-ordered society, the question of divorce is regulated. In Israel, where the Orthodox establishment controls both marriage and divorce, and the issue does not arise before the wedding. However, since the State does not recognize non-Orthodox marriages, couples about to wed in a secular ceremony may wonder about their status. Unfortunately, instead of pondering their future relationship they ask questions about divorce procedure.

Secular Jews do not view a woman as her husband’s property. It follows, then, that under secular tradition each partner in a marriage should be able to obtain a divorce without the permission of the other.

A "Marriage and Divorce bill" that offered the opportunity for civil marriage along with religious marriage was recently defeated in the Knesset. For details see: The Forum for the Freedom of Choice in Marriage, www.freemarriage.org.il (text in Hebrew and Russian).

BASTARD STATUS (MAMZER)

Jewish secular society defines people by what they say, by what they do and according to the contribution they make to society at large. Because secular Jews do not judge people by their origins or their parents’ deeds, the question of "bastardy" is not relevant to the secular way of life. Secular Jews do not label anyone as a bastard or relate to any person differently just because he or she were declared bastards by the Orthodox Establishment.

WOMEN

Secular Jews believe that women and men are equal, and should enjoy the same rights. Male and female commitments made during the marital ceremony are mutual, and they are formulated by the couple themselves. Indeed, according to secular Jewish beliefs, both men and women may preside at a marriage ceremony.

COHEN (PRIEST) AND DIVORCEE MARRIAGE

Secular Jews see nothing wrong with a Cohen (Priest) marrying a divorcee. That’s because they don’t believe that a "Third Temple" is in the cards and thus there is no need to maintain a "pure" priestly strain to administer sacred services. It follows that the prohibition of marriage between Cohen and divorcee is irrelevant to secular Jewish society, and there is nothing to prevent them coming together in the covenant of a Jewish secular marriage.

THE SECULAR JEWS ATTITUDE TO TRADITION, AND TO TRADITIONAL CEREMONIES.

Jewish secular culture is an integral part of traditional Judaism. Just as Jewish tradition and practice have undergone revolutionary changes throughout the generations, we too in our generation, are entitled to match our ceremonies to the contemporary way of life.

In accordance with this, Secular ceremonies include many of the symbols and benedictions known to the Jewish people throughout the generations, and will retain them in the future. However, Secular Jews introduce changes in tradition and create new traditions in accordance with modern life in Israel. Thus, the marriage ceremony reflects in the best possible way the mode of life chosen by the marrying couple. Moreover, Secular culture recognizes the need for many Jews to retain older traditions and for this reason supports opening up the form of the marriage ceremony in Israel by giving couples the chance to choose how they wish to relate to Jewish tradition.

THE MIKVEH RITUAL BATH AND RITUAL CLEANSING

Secular Judaism does not make judgements on its male and female adherents as to their biological and physical attributes nor does it view them as being "pure" or "holy" by these criteria. Cleanliness and uncleanliness are determined in the Secular world by how a person expresses himself in word and deed. In any event, submersion in a ritual bath is not a precondition for a Jewish wedding ceremony. Thus, by Secular lights, a woman's monthly period is of neither symbolical nor hygienic significance. Women know how to keep clean, and do so without the help of extraneous supervision. There is, therefore, no ritual bathing requirement before the marriage ceremony.

However, there is no doubt that the couple submersing themselves together on the morning of the wedding may be symbolic of general cleanliness for them both, and as such is to be recommended.

LIMITATIONS OF THE SECULAR CEREMONY

The Secular-Jewish community views with favor the marriage of Jews to Jews, and of Jews with partners who have chosen to bind their fate and live their life together with the Jewish people. However, as Jews do not regard their marriage ceremony as mere display or as a gimmick, participants in the ceremony should be people whom the Secular-Jewish community recognizes.

The following therefore may not marry by Secular-Jewish rites:

a) A couple neither of whom is Jewish
b) A couple one of whom is Jewish and the other is not Jewish who do not wish to link their joint future in Israel or have their children educated in an active Jewish community.

HELP US GROW

Due to an ever-increasing demand for our secular rites, we will soon be training a new group of men and women to conduct our ceremonies.

While we are delighted with the success of our initiative, we are urgently in need of funds that can help it grow.

If you or your organization identify with the Institute's aims, and feel you would like to contribute to its development, please contact us:
E-mail:info@tekes.co.il
Phone: (international) +972 2 6738103

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